DEAR GRL: It's Okay to Outgrow People (Even When It Hurts)
Hey love,
It's happening, isn't it? The conversations feel forced. The jokes don't land the same way. The things that used to bond you now feel surface-level. You find yourself editing what you say, hiding parts of who you're becoming, pretending to still find the same things interesting.
You're outgrowing them, and it hurts like hell.
Growth is supposed to change you—that's the whole point. But nobody prepared you for how lonely it can feel to become the person you're meant to be. Nobody told you that evolution sometimes means leaving people behind, even people you love.
Here's what I need you to know: You're not betraying anyone by becoming yourself. You're not being disloyal by wanting more, thinking differently, or discovering interests that don't align with your old circle. You're not being "fake" or "thinking you're better than everyone" when you stop pretending to be someone you've outgrown.
Some friendships are meant for seasons, not lifetimes. Some people are meant to be part of your story, not your whole book. And that's not a failure—that's life. People grow in different directions, at different speeds, toward different goals. Sometimes those paths diverge, and that's okay.
You can love someone and still recognize you're no longer compatible. You can appreciate what someone brought to your life while acknowledging they're no longer what you need. You can feel grateful for shared memories while also feeling ready for new ones with different people.
The guilt you feel? It's normal. The sadness? Valid. The fear that you're becoming someone you don't recognize? Temporary. Growing pains hurt, but staying small hurts more.
Don't shrink yourself to fit into spaces you've outgrown. Don't dim your light to make others comfortable with their darkness. Don't pretend to be less interested, less ambitious, less evolved to maintain relationships that no longer serve you.
The right people will grow with you or cheer you on from wherever they are. The wrong people will make you feel guilty for changing, ask you to stay small, or punish you for wanting more.
You're not responsible for other people's comfort with your growth. You're not required to stay the same to make others feel secure. You're not obligated to make your evolution easy for everyone else to digest.
New versions of yourself will attract new kinds of people. Better versions of yourself deserve better relationships. Growing pains now prevent staying-small pains later.
Trust the process. Honor the growth. Release with love when necessary. Your future self will thank you for choosing growth over comfort, authenticity over acceptance, and possibility over the past.
You're not losing yourself—you're finding yourself. And that's worth celebrating, even when it's lonely.
With love and complete support for your beautiful evolution,
The GRL Initiative
