Day 9: Workplace Bullying Isn't Just a Grown-Up Word for Drama
When we talk about bullying, we usually picture kids in the lunchroom or on the playground. But what if I told you one of the most humiliating bullying experiences I’ve ever had wasn’t in middle school—it was in my third year of teaching, inside my own classroom, in front of 32 teenagers?
I was in the middle of 3rd period, mid-lesson, when a fellow staff member stormed into my room, shouting:
“What have you been doing? Why aren't these students who transferred into my class at the same place in their notebooks?"
I froze. I knew exactly what they were talking about. The truth? I didn’t prioritize those notebooks because I thought they were performative—compliance for compliance’s sake, not a tool for actual learning. But I didn’t say that. I couldn’t. Because when you’re being attacked like that in front of students, your instinct isn’t to speak—it’s to survive.
The staff member stormed out. My students turned and gave me that wide-eyed look like, “What the hell just happened?” I didn’t have an answer. All I knew was I felt belittled, embarrassed, and deeply unsure of myself as an educator.
This is Workplace Bullying
That wasn’t a one-time clash. Over the course of the year, I ended up in multiple verbal altercations with this colleague. Sometimes I was in the wrong—I was young, still learning, and I had a lot of growing up to do. But it became clear that in that environment, it was their way or the highway. Any deviation from the norm wasn’t a learning opportunity—it was a target on my back.
And that’s the thing about workplace bullying: it often hides in plain sight. According to Namie and Namie (2021), workplace bullying is defined as "repeated, health-harming mistreatment by one or more employees that takes the form of verbal abuse; offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating, or intimidating; or work interference." That moment in my classroom checked every one of those boxes.
It’s estimated that 30% of workers in the U.S. experience workplace bullying at some point in their careers (Workplace Bullying Institute, 2021). For educators, the numbers can be even higher due to hierarchical cultures, intense stress, and systems that reward conformity over innovation (Kauppi & Pörhölä, 2012).
Bullying Doesn’t Stop With Age
There’s this unspoken assumption that adults should “know better” or have thicker skin. But bullying doesn’t suddenly become harmless when you turn 25 and get a job with benefits. The impact of workplace bullying can be severe—ranging from anxiety and burnout to long-term impacts on career trajectory and self-worth (Einarsen, Hoel, Zapf, & Cooper, 2020).
In my case, it planted the seed of imposter syndrome that I carried for years. Even when I moved on to more supportive environments, I second-guessed myself constantly. Was my teaching style too different? Was I too vocal? Was I asking for conflict just by being… me?
How We Heal
If you’ve experienced workplace bullying, here’s what I want you to know:
You are not crazy. Manipulative, aggressive, or coercive behavior is not normal or acceptable—even if it’s coming from a veteran teacher, a principal, or a colleague who “everyone knows is just like that.”
Document it. Keep a record of incidents, dates, and how they made you feel. It’s not petty—it’s protection.
Find your people. Whether it’s a mentor, a union rep, a therapist, or a friend, having someone believe you and validate your experience makes all the difference.
Know that it gets better. I eventually left that environment and found others that truly valued collaboration, creativity, and kindness. But I also carried lessons with me—the kind you can’t learn from a PD session.
Final Thoughts
As women, especially younger women in the workforce, we’re often socialized to avoid conflict and keep the peace. But silence only protects the aggressor. Sharing our stories, setting boundaries, and supporting each other is how we break the cycle.
If you're reading this and nodding along, I see you. If you’re still in that toxic space, I’m rooting for you. And if you’ve made it to the other side—don’t forget to reach back and pull someone else up.
Let’s call workplace bullying what it is—and let’s be the generation that refuses to let it go unchecked.
References
Einarsen, S., Hoel, H., Zapf, D., & Cooper, C. L. (2020). Bullying and Harassment in the Workplace: Theory, Research and Practice (3rd ed.). CRC Press.
Kauppi, T., & Pörhölä, M. (2012). School teachers bullied by their students: Teachers’ attributions and how they share their experiences. Teaching and Teacher Education, 28(7), 1059–1068. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tate.2012.05.009
Namie, G., & Namie, R. (2021). The Bully-Free Workplace: Stop Jerks, Weasels, and Snakes from Killing Your Organization. John Wiley & Sons.
Workplace Bullying Institute. (2021). 2021 WBI U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey. https://workplacebullying.org/2021-survey/
