Dear GRL, sorry I’ve been missing!
Back from the Writing Cave: What I Learned About Full Size Leadership
Hey GRL family,
I owe you an explanation for my radio silence on the blog lately. While you've been out there crushing it in your respective fields (seriously, the updates I've been getting are incredible), I've been holed up in what I lovingly call "the writing cave," pouring every spare moment into completing a manuscript that's been burning inside me for years.
The book is called "Full Size Leadership," and it's finally done. DONE! Insert happy dance here
After months of late-night writing sessions, voice memos recorded during my commute, and more drafts than I care to count, I've managed to capture what I hope will be a roadmap for anyone who's ever been told they're "too much" of something—too loud, too direct, too young, too different—and needs permission to lead authentically anyway.
What This Book Is Really About
"Full Size Leadership" isn't just another leadership manual filled with corporate buzzwords and theoretical frameworks. It's the story of learning to take up space—literally and figuratively—in a world that often tells women, especially young women, to make themselves smaller.
From my childhood in Wisconsin (complete with size 10 shoes in elementary school) to my current role overseeing athletics for an entire state, every chapter explores how our "constraints" can actually become our superpowers when we learn to work with them instead of against them.
The Big Takeaways (Because I Know You're Busy)
1. The 70% Problem Is Real—And It's About More Than Sports Did you know that 70% of kids quit organized sports by age 13? For girls, the numbers are even worse. This isn't just about losing future athletes—we're losing future leaders. Sports teach confidence, resilience, teamwork, and the ability to take up space. When we lose girls from athletics, we lose women from leadership pipelines.
2. Representation Matters More Than We Realize Growing up, I never saw myself reflected in leadership positions. The closest I came was watching Bonnie Blair and Dan Jansen dominate Olympic speed skating—finally, people from Wisconsin who were unapologetically powerful. Research shows that when women see female leaders in their industry, they're 25% more likely to pursue leadership tracks themselves. We have to be what we want to see.
3. Your Mental Managers Need Care Too I use this metaphor of little mental managers (think Fraggle Rock miners) who usually keep everything organized in your brain. But when you're exhausted, stressed on all fronts, those managers get fried, and the negative self-talk takes over. Great leaders recognize when their mental managers are overwhelmed and have tools ready to support them.
4. Grit Beats Talent Every Time From delivering newspapers as a fourth-grader to working in a paper mill during college, I learned that finishing what you start teaches you more about yourself than natural ability ever will. The compound effect of developing strong work ethic early is that it becomes automatic—you don't have to decide whether you'll do difficult work, you just do it because that's who you are.
5. Sometimes You Have to Lose Yourself to Find Yourself I spent three years in a toxic relationship that drained every piece of my light. The journey back to myself—driving cross-country alone, rebuilding in the California desert, finding my sisterhood—taught me that our biggest setbacks often become our greatest comebacks. Use your experiences as fuel, not shame.
6. Code-Switching Is Strategic, Not Compromise As millennials, we've mastered the art of adapting our communication style without compromising our values. This isn't being fake—it's being politically smart while remaining fundamentally authentic. Sometimes you have to translate your message so it can be heard.
7. Lead with Love, Even When It's Hard The most powerful leaders I know lead from the heart. This doesn't mean being soft—it means making decisions from a place of genuine care rather than ego or fear. When your leadership comes from love for your mission and the people you serve, people can feel the difference.
The Beautiful Mess of the Middle
Here's what I want every GRL reader to understand: I'm writing this from the middle of my story, not the end. I don't have it all figured out. My mental managers still get tired. I still have days when imposter syndrome flares up and I question whether I belong in certain rooms.
But I've learned to embrace this messy middle instead of rushing toward some imagined finish line where everything will be perfect. The middle is where life happens, where relationships deepen, where character is built. The middle is where you learn that authenticity is more powerful than perfection.
The goal isn't to eliminate the hard days—it's to recognize them as part of the process and have tools to navigate them without losing sight of who you really are.
Your Full Size Life Is Waiting
Whether you're the only woman in the boardroom, the youngest person at the leadership table, or someone who's been told you need to "tone it down," I want you to know this: your differences aren't flaws to minimize—they're strengths to leverage.
Stop shrinking. Start climbing. Take up all the space you need.
The world needs your full-size leadership, exactly as you are, exactly where you are, exactly in this beautiful middle of your story.
Drop a comment and let me know what you're navigating right now. What challenges are you facing? What victories should we be celebrating? What do you need more of—resources, support, or just someone to say "you've got this" when the imposter syndrome hits?
Because here's the thing: we're all figuring it out as we go. The most successful women I know are the ones who admit they don't have all the answers but show up authentically anyway. That's exactly the kind of leadership this world needs more of.
Can't wait to hear what you've been up to while I was hiding in the writing cave. Let's catch up in the comments!
xoxo,
Lauren
P.S. - Keep an eye out for more updates about the book launch. This GRL community has been such an incredible source of inspiration and support throughout this process, and I can't wait to share more details about how we can continue supporting each other's full-size leadership journeys.
