DEAR GRL: You Don't Have to Be Grateful for the Bare Minimum

Hey love,

Stop right there. Before you tell me how "lucky" you are that he texts you back, that your friend only talks about herself 90% of the time instead of 100%, or that your boss only yells at you twice a week instead of daily—just stop.

You've been conditioned to be grateful for crumbs when you deserve the whole meal. You've been taught that asking for basic respect, kindness, and consideration makes you "high maintenance" or "demanding." You've been convinced that settling for less-than is somehow virtuous, mature, or realistic.

Basic human decency is not a gift—it's the starting point. Responding to your texts isn't boyfriend of the year behavior, it's basic communication. Remembering your birthday isn't exceptional friendship, it's the minimum. Not screaming at you isn't good management, it's expected professional behavior.

You don't owe anyone gratitude for doing what they should already be doing. You don't have to celebrate people for meeting the absolute lowest bar of human interaction. You're allowed to expect more because you deserve more.

Stop making excuses for people who make you make excuses for them. "They're just going through a lot right now." "They don't really mean it." "They're not good with emotions." "That's just how they are." Every excuse you make for someone's poor treatment of you is energy you're not spending on finding people who treat you well without needing excuses.

The right people will make treating you well look effortless. They won't make you feel grateful for basics—they'll make you feel valued, seen, and cherished. They'll set the bar so high that you'll wonder how you ever accepted so little for so long.

You're not asking for too much. You're just asking the wrong people.

Stop lowering your standards to make others comfortable with their mediocrity. Your standards aren't too high—their effort is too low. Don't dim your light to make others feel better about staying in the dark.

You deserve friends who celebrate your wins, partners who prioritize your feelings, and environments where respect is automatic, not earned through perfect behavior on your part.

Raise your standards and keep them there. The right people will rise to meet them.

With love and unwavering belief that you deserve better,

The GRL Initiative