What a Boundary Actually Is (and What It Isn’t)

Picture this: you’re sitting in yet another meeting that should’ve been an email. Someone says, “Can I grab five minutes?” You say “Sure,” even though you’re running on fumes. We’ve all been there — default-yesing our way through the day.

A boundary isn’t a wall. It’s a door with a lock you control.
It’s not about exclusion; it’s about access — who gets it, when, and under what conditions.

Psychologist Nedra Glover Tawwab defines boundaries as “expectations we set for how others can treat us.” University of Kentucky research (2021) connects boundary strength to higher emotional intelligence and lower burnout. Translation: people who say no more strategically end up with more energy, creativity, and peace.

Millennials and Gen Z grew up in a “yes” culture — internships that demanded 24/7 availability, group texts that never sleep, Slack pings that feel moral. No wonder “boundaries” became a buzzword. But underneath the trend is a skill: self-trust.

A few scripts to start practicing:

• “I’d love to help, but I don’t have capacity this week.”

• “That doesn’t work for me right now.”

• “I’m offline after six.”

Every boundary you hold teaches your nervous system that your peace matters.

GRL Takeaway: Boundaries aren’t selfish; they’re how you stay connected without self-abandoning.
Try this: Notice one moment today when you say yes out of guilt instead of choice — and pause before answering.