Keeping Your Boundary (Even When You Feel Guilty)

Let’s be real: setting the boundary is one thing. Keeping it when the guilt hits at 11 p.m.? That’s the work.

The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reports we’re most likely to break our own boundaries when belonging feels threatened. For women raised on “be nice,” guilt is the hook.

Here’s the reframe:

• Guilt means you’re learning a new pattern.

• Resentment means you’ve ignored one.

So rehearse your “no” ahead of time. Anchor it in your values — maybe peace, rest, creativity, or family. When the pressure comes, remind yourself: “I’m not rejecting them; I’m protecting me.”

And when you slip? Reset. Boundaries are renewable.

GRL Takeaway: A boundary that costs you guilt but saves you resentment is worth it.
Try this: Hold one small boundary this week — no apology, no explanation. Notice how your body feels after. That’s safety taking root.