Parent’s Guide: How to Know If a Youth Sports Program Is Right for Your Child

A GRL Initiative Resource for Families

As a parent, you have more choices than ever when it comes to youth sports and recreation programs — and that’s a good thing. But with so many options, it can be hard to know which spaces are actually healthy for your child and which ones might unintentionally make them feel anxious, excluded, or not “good enough.”

A lot of programs advertise development, fun, and teamwork. But what really matters is how those values show up when you’re watching practice on a Tuesday afternoon, or when your child climbs into the car after a game. Does the environment lift them up? Or shrink them? Do they feel safe trying something new? Or are they constantly measuring themselves against kids who have been doing the sport since they were five?

The truth is: you have choices — and those choices shape your child’s experience.
This guide helps you figure out if a program genuinely supports your child’s growth, confidence, and belonging… or if it may be time to look elsewhere.

Below is a clear, research-informed checklist to evaluate what your child is actually experiencing — not what the program claims to be. Check all that apply.

Parent’s Checklist: Is This the Right Youth Program for Your Child?

A GRL Initiative Companion Guide for Families

Use this checklist to evaluate whether a youth sports or rec program will support your child’s confidence, wellbeing, and development — not just their performance.

Check all that apply.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS & BELONGING

☐ The coach greets kids warmly.
☐ New players are welcomed, not ignored.
☐ Kids seem happy — not anxious — when they arrive.
☐ There’s a mix of abilities, and all kids participate.
☐ No child appears isolated, disengaged, or left out.
☐ The environment feels emotionally safe.
☐ Kids laugh and play, not just perform.

COACHING STYLE

☐ Coaches encourage learning, not perfection.
☐ Coaches speak with respect — no yelling, shaming, or sarcasm.
☐ When kids make mistakes, coaches help them adjust instead of punishing.
☐ Coaches make eye contact with all kids, not just the strongest ones.
☐ Coaches explain drills, skills, and expectations clearly.

COMMUNICATION

☐ Coaches communicate with families respectfully and clearly.
☐ You know when and how to reach the coach.
☐ There is a clear process for concerns or questions.
☐ Coaches are open to feedback without becoming defensive.

PLAYING TIME & OPPORTUNITY

☐ All kids play — not just the most skilled.
☐ Kids are rotated through positions to learn and grow.
☐ Your child isn’t benched for mistakes.
☐ The program values development over early dominance.

TEAM CULTURE

☐ Kids treat each other with kindness and respect.
☐ There is no visible bullying, exclusion, or cliques.
☐ The team atmosphere feels supportive, not intimidating.
☐ Kids celebrate each other’s successes.

PARENT & SIDELINE ENERGY

☐ Sidelines are calm, positive, and not overly intense.
☐ Parents cheer respectfully — for all players.
☐ No adults are yelling instructions over the coach.
☐ Parents don’t gossip, criticize, or create tension.
☐ You feel comfortable on the sidelines.

PROGRAM VALUES

☐ The program talks about fun and learning, not just winning.
☐ Kids are encouraged to explore, try new things, and develop over time.
☐ Coaches believe in late bloomers.
☐ Your child comes home proud and excited.
☐ Your child wants to continue — that’s the biggest sign of all.

⭐ Parent Score Guide

30–35 Checks:
A healthy, well-run, emotionally safe program that supports whole-child development.

22–29 Checks:
Mostly good, with a few areas to watch or ask about. Worth a conversation with the coach.

15–21 Checks:
Mixed. Some strengths, but several red flags.
Pay close attention to how your child feels — not just how they perform.

0–14 Checks:
Your child may not feel safe, included, or supported.
Consider exploring other programs or discussing concerns with the coach.

Final Words to Parents

Youth sports should build confidence — not fear.
Belonging — not anxiety.
Growth — not performance-based identity.

The best programs are the ones where kids feel seen, encouraged, and excited to return — even when they’re still learning, even when they’re not the strongest, even when they make mistakes.

You get to choose the environment your child grows in.
And your child deserves a place where they can walk through the door, take a deep breath, and think:

“I belong here.”