What Is Agency, Really?
Part of the Reclaiming Your Agency Series
Agency is one of those words that sounds academic until you lose it.
You know the feeling—when you’re reacting instead of choosing, scrolling instead of engaging, or saying “it is what it is” when deep down you know it shouldn’t be. It’s that slow drift from your own life, the one where everything starts to feel decided for you.
So, what is agency?
Psychologist Albert Bandura defined it simply as the belief that we can influence our circumstances through our own actions. In other words: agency is the muscle of choice. It’s the trust that what we do matters.
But in a world that often rewards compliance and convenience, agency can start to feel like rebellion.
Agency Isn’t Control
Control says: I can make everything go my way.
Agency says: I can choose my way, even when everything doesn’t go right.
That difference matters. Control is rigid—it needs certainty. Agency is responsive—it grows in uncertainty.
In studies on resilience and trauma recovery, psychologists have found that people with a strong sense of agency recover more quickly from adversity because they focus on what’s still possible, not just what’s been lost.
Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) and Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child shows that the capacity to act on one’s own behalf is one of the most reliable predictors of long-term well-being and motivation.
So if you’ve been feeling stuck, exhausted, or reactive, it’s not a lack of willpower—it’s often a depletion of agency.
How We Lose It
We lose agency through a thousand small concessions.
When we silence ourselves to “keep the peace.”
When we wait for someone else to make the first move.
When systems, workplaces, or relationships reward obedience over autonomy.
We start outsourcing our power—hoping someone else will decide better for us. Over time, that erodes not just confidence, but identity. Because agency and identity are intertwined: when we stop acting on what we believe, we forget who we are.
How We Reclaim It
Reclaiming agency isn’t about taking on the whole world—it’s about reconnecting with yourself.
Name what’s yours. What do you actually want in this season? Agency begins with honesty.
Set one boundary. Not as a wall, but as a declaration: this is my space to decide.
Follow through. Keep one small promise to yourself every day. That’s how self-trust—and agency—are rebuilt.
As leadership researcher Brené Brown puts it, “Integrity is choosing courage over comfort.” That’s agency in action: choosing to show up aligned with your values, even when it’s inconvenient.
When you stop waiting for permission to exist fully as yourself, you start to remember how powerful you’ve been all along.
So, no, you don’t need to control the world. You just need to reclaim your place in it.
Journal Prompt:
Where in your life do you feel like you’re waiting for permission? What would it look like to give that permission to yourself?
Next in the series: Day 3 – How We Lose It: The subtle ways society, systems, and self-doubt chip away at our power—and how to name what’s been taken.
