Why Two Opposite Feelings Can Be True at the Same Time (Especially During the Holidays)

A GRL Pep Talk: You’re Not Confused—You’re Human

Hey GRL—
If you need permission to feel multiple things at once, let this be it.

Recently, I was on vacation with my parents and my family of four. And it was beautiful. Truly. One of those moments where you pause and think, This matters. Everyone was healthy. We were together. Even my 14-year-old was in mildly good spirits—which, frankly, felt like a miracle worth celebrating.

I felt deeply grateful. Full. Present.

And also?
I was exhausted.

I was doing the driving.
The planning.
The mapping.
The mental math of timing, moods, meals, and movement.

And here’s the thing I want you to hear clearly:
Those two experiences did not cancel each other out.

They existed at the same time.

Science actually backs this up. Psychologists call it emotional ambivalence—the ability to hold positive and negative emotions simultaneously. Research shows that people who can acknowledge mixed emotions are often more emotionally resilient and better able to cope with stress than those who try to force themselves into “just being positive.” Feeling both doesn’t weaken you—it strengthens you.

Another truth we don’t say out loud enough: a lot of our exhaustion isn’t from the experience itself—it’s from the invisible labor surrounding it. Studies on cognitive load and emotional labor consistently show that women disproportionately carry the planning, anticipating, and organizing work—especially during family time and holidays. That mental load is real. And it’s draining. Even when the thing you’re doing is meaningful.

So if you’ve ever thought:

• Why am I tired when this is such a gift?

• Why do I need a break from people I love?

• Why can’t I just enjoy this fully?

You’re not broken.
You’re not selfish.
You’re not missing the moment.

You’re living in reality.

Gratitude and exhaustion can coexist.
Love and frustration can sit at the same table.
Joy and grief often travel together—especially during the holidays.

And here’s another important piece: research on burnout tells us that gratitude alone does not protect against overwhelm. What actually helps is acknowledging strain and having space to recover. In other words, pretending you’re fine doesn’t make you stronger—honesty does.

So this is your GRL reminder:

You are allowed to:
✨ Love your family and still need space
✨ Appreciate the moment and still feel depleted
✨ Hold joy in one hand and fatigue in the other

That doesn’t make you ungrateful.
It makes you honest.
It makes you whole.

This season—whether it’s the holidays, a family trip, or just a very full chapter of life—don’t pressure yourself to flatten your feelings into something neat and palatable.

Let them be layered.
Let them be real.
Let them be yours.

Because both things can be true.
And often, they are.

You’re doing better than you think, GRL.