Belonging Starts With You

We spend so much of our lives trying to belong — to a team, a partner, a friend group, a purpose. And somewhere in all that effort, we forget that belonging isn’t something we find out there. It’s something we build in here.

I’ve been chasing belonging my whole life — through achievement, through relationships, through proximity to people I admired. And it worked, for a while. Until it didn’t. Until I realized that I could be surrounded by people and still feel alone.

That’s when I learned that belonging and connection start in the same place — with yourself.

The Mirror Work of Connection

It’s easy to talk about connection as something we give others. But the truth is, you can’t connect deeply with someone else if you’re cut off from yourself.

When you’ve spent years caring for everyone else, it’s easy to forget what you need, what you love, what actually fills you back up. Disconnection from yourself is sneaky — it looks like exhaustion, irritability, and sometimes resentment. It sounds like “I don’t even know what I want anymore.”

The hardest part of belonging is turning that care back toward yourself without guilt.

So I started small. I asked:
What do I need right now?
What’s mine to carry — and what isn’t?
What am I craving that no one else can give me?

Those questions became a map back to myself.

The Myth of Permanent Belonging

I think part of our pain comes from believing belonging is permanent — that once you find your people, your place, your rhythm, it should stay that way forever.

But belonging is fluid. It changes as we do. The groups, friendships, and relationships that once fit perfectly might loosen. Sometimes they’re meant to.

And that’s okay.
It doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It means you’re evolving.

Belonging is not about holding tighter — it’s about staying open to what’s next.

Connection as a Compass

When I feel disconnected now, I don’t panic. I pause. I ask myself:
Am I disconnected from others or from myself?

Usually, it’s both.

Connection has become my compass — the way I find my way back when I get lost in the noise. Because when you’re connected to yourself — when you know your worth, your boundaries, your needs — you attract connection that feels safe and sustaining.

You stop performing and start being.
You stop auditioning for belonging and start creating it.

💬 GRL Pep Talk

GRL, belonging starts with you.

It starts with how you talk to yourself when no one’s watching. It starts with giving yourself the same grace you extend to everyone else. It starts with remembering that you don’t have to earn connection — you just have to allow it.

You are not hard to love. You are just growing.

So today, turn inward. Listen to your own voice. Let yourself be enough, even in the quiet.

Because the belonging you’ve been searching for might be waiting inside you — patiently, ready for you to come home.